Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks

3 May

20130503-180435.jpg Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s not a beer. What do you want? A genius award? Wanna complain about how this is a beer blog? Go for it. But it’s my blog and I don’t give a shit. Some days call for a little tequila mixed with ice, fresh fruit and honey. Today is one of those days. It’s over 80 degrees in Portland in May, I had the day off of work, and I got to eat sushi on a patio with one of my oldest friends. Perfection.

Then on the way home, I got stuck in gnarly traffic. Not that “oh it’s a little congested” kind either, the “oh F, there are three different accidents?” kinda traffic. Not gonna ruin my perfect day though. But by the time I got home, I was beyond ready for a couple drinks on the front porch. So I consulted my new favorite blog, Thug Kitchen. And guess what was waiting for me…Strawberry Grapefruit Margaritas? Hell Yeah!!!

Why do I love this blog? For starters, fresh, natural ingredients, and health focused! And then there is the fact that the author is entertaining, hilarious, and speaks like my 90 year old neighbor lady from Brooklyn NY (think old, dirty, trucker-dude mouth). This is how I wish I could talk all the time. My friends know I can get this way given the right occasion, but I like to play it professional while at work and don’t want my mom to wash my mouth out with soap all the time (you laugh, but she would…she has). Anyway, this is what I found today in my Facebook newsfeed:

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo? It’s one of my favorite holidays for bad decisions. This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40? WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT? Artificial flavors? GO FUCK YOURSELF. Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks.

Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks?!?! Amen!!

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Honestly tell me you aren’t either on your way to the kitchen to make up a batch OR on the way to the bathroom because your are peeing yourself from laughing so hard.

Seriously, do check out his blog. He’s got some amazing recipes on there especially if you aren’t into putting nasty toxins and overly processed “stuff” in your food. If you’re drinking craft beer and homebrewing, you’re already on the right track. Just remember the same thing when you are serving any drink. Respect yourself, respect your guests, respect the drink, and don’t be serving up any disrespectful drinks, alright?!?

Still complaining about no beer? Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Over dinner we’re busting into the six-pack Brian brought us from NM. I’m sure you would rather hear from Michael, but since he still isn’t home from work, I doubt he’ll be in the mood. So you’re stuck with me. Yeah, I know. but stop your crying and get over it.

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3 Responses to “Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks”

  1. Brian May 3, 2013 at 8:11 PM #

    I hear ya’ girl. Don’t be serving up no disrespectful, motherfucking drinks! Amen!!

  2. Sister Schoultz May 4, 2013 at 5:56 PM #

    What! No bud light straw-ber-rita? Seriously, who even came up with that? Wanna hurl just thinking about it.

    As for weather, you suck! Enjoy! Wish I could. Arkansas got snow for the first time in may in all of recorded history. Not cool. We did get to eat our first 15 strawberries from the backyard patch though. Melt in your mouth amazing.

    • Miranda May 5, 2013 at 9:28 AM #

      That sounds like the worst idea ever!

      The weather is amazing…strawberries at the farmers market already! And we worked our new community garden plot yesterday.

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